Domestic Violence Video – Chicago Tribune

http://www.chicagotribune.com/video/?autoStart=true&topVideoCatNo=default&clipId=3121701

Passing the Purple Hat to You……..

IN  honor of  women’s history month and in memory of Erma  Bombeck who lost her fight with cancer. Pass  this on to five women that you want watched  over. If you don’t know five women to pass this  on to, one will do just fine.

IF I HAD  MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER – by Erma  Bombeck?
(written  after she found out she was dying from  cancer).?

I  would have gone to bed when I was sick instead  of pretending the earth would go into a holding  pattern if I weren’t there for the day.

I  would have burned the pink candle sculpted like  a rose before it melted in storage.

I  would have talked less and listened  more.

I would have invited friends over  to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the  sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried  much less about the dirt when someone wanted to  light a fire in the fireplace.

I would  have taken the time to listen to my grandfather  ramble about his youth.

I would have  shared more of the responsibility carried by my  husband.

I would never have insisted the  car windows be rolled up on a summer day because  my hair had just been teased and  sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn  with my grass stains.

I would have cried  and laughed less while watching television and  more while watching life.

I would never  have bought anything just because it was  practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed  to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing  away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have  cherished every moment and realized that the  wonderment growing inside me was the only chance  in life to assist God in a miracle.

When  my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never  have said, ‘Later. Now go get washed up for  dinner.’ There would have been more ‘I love  you’s’ More ‘I’m sorry’s.’

But mostly,  given another shot at life, I would seize every  minute.look at it and really see it…… live  it and never give it  back.
STOP  SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!

Don’t  worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more,  or who’s doing what.
Instead,  let’s cherish the relationships we have with  those who do love us!

If you  don’t mind, send this on to all the women you  are grateful to have as friends. Maybe we should  all grab that purple hat  earlier.
Please  send this to five (or more) phenomenal women today in  celebration of Beautiful Women’s Month. 
Blessings

She’s not a victim anymore

http://www.ocregister.com/articles/wenskunas-crime-victims-2312197-victim-son

Wednesday, February 18, 2009
She’s not a victim anymore
MORNING READ: Bound, gagged and threatened with death, she started helping others
By GREG HARDESTY
The Orange County Register
Comments 8| Recommend 5
IRVINE She awoke in her home naked and wrapped in a blanket, like a cocoon, her mind zapped by a drug slipped into her drink and Saran wrap covering her mouth.
The personal trainer she thought was her friend — a man who had drugged her and stripped her and then neatly folded her clothes and placed them on her bed — was telling her what would happen if she screamed.
“When I’m done killing you,” he said, “I’m going to kill your son.”
Until this moment, in April 2002, Patricia Wenskunas had spent much of her life playing victim.
She had kept quiet about an uncle who had abused her when she was a child. She had battled eating disorders and become a single mother in her early 20s, after her boyfriend bolted when he found out she was pregnant.
Now, the attacker’s words slashing at her soul, Wenskunas did something she had never done before:
She fought back.
She tore free from the blanket and ripped the wrapping out of her mouth. She unleashed a torrent of punches and kicks as her attacker slammed his head into her face.
Then, Wenskunas jumped a dozen feet from a balcony to the kitchen below, where she bolted out the door to get help. Her preteen son was not at home at the time.
Police arrested the suspect at his home, that night, in San Diego.
Wenskunas didn’t know then, but her dramatic escape marked the beginning of a slow, often painful transformation from victim to survivor — a meaningless distinction for most people, but for her, as fundamentally different as night and day.
SIX MONTHS IN BED
It’s late January, almost seven years later, and Wenskunas is sitting in a coffee shop, her longish blonde hair cascading past the shoulders of her black-and-blue business suit.
She turns 40 soon, and says she can’t wait.
It’s difficult to imagine that this confident, forward-thinking woman is the same person who, following the attack, spent six months in bed staring at the walls, too traumatized to do much for her 12-year-old son.
Wenskunas decided to crawl out of bed only after overhearing her son say to a friend, “I wonder if she’s ever going to get up and stop crying and take care of me.”
She immediately decided to see a counselor — a decision she credits with saving her life.
As she was taking steps to repair her spirit, Wenskunas had to cope with another ordeal: the criminal justice system.
Many victims complain that they feel victimized a second time by a system designed, she says, to protect the rights of the accused.
In Wenskunas’ case, the jury found her attacker guilty of assault with a deadly weapon (the Saran wrap) and of making criminal threats. He was sentenced to 120 days in jail and is scheduled to get off formal probation this summer.
Wenskunas remains outraged at the brief jail time.
“I wish people would quit judging victims or questioning them – you know, like, ‘What did she have on when she was raped? Why was he in a bad neighborhood when he was killed? Why did she have him in her house? Why, why, why?
“Such questions are stupid and ignorant.
“The questions should be, ‘Is the victim OK? What the heck was the criminal thinking — is he a sociopath? What can we do for the victim? Let’s get justice, so criminals will not do this to anyone else.’”
Wenskunas has channeled such passion into an organization, Crime Survivors Inc.
Over the years, the nonprofit has made her well-known in law enforcement and victims’ advocate circles.
Now, she’s about to launch her biggest project yet.
DREAM PROJECT
Crime Survivors Inc., founded in 2003, puts on several events a year to raise awareness of the needs of crime victims. It distributes, through police agencies, “victim emergency bags” to adults and children. And, through partnerships with several agencies, the nonprofit provides resource guides throughout the county.
But Wenskunas’ new goal is to create a countywide Victim Resources Center. The center would provide, under one south county roof, services from several organizations and agencies to help victims of any crime.
Counseling, self-defense and safety workshops, legal assistance – all would be available in a single place, making the process of recovery at least somewhat easier for crime victims.
Money is a hurdle. Wenskunas hopes to raise $3 million for the project. Last year, Crime Survivors took a bit more than $142,000.
Still, Wenskunas is gauging the interest of potential funders for the facility, which is modeled after the national Family Justice Center initiative created during the George W. Bush administration.
She knows she faces an uphill battle raising money during a bum economy, but Wenskunas is driven by her desire to not have other crime victims go through what she did.
She didn’t know where to turn.
For the first five nights, she and her son holed up in a hotel.
“We had no idea what resources were available to us.”
BLACK AND BLUE
The official colors of Crime Survivors Inc. are black and blue — the color of bruises.
For Wenskunas, black represents the crime and blue survival. She says she forever will remain bruised on the inside. On the outside, she appears anything but a victim.
Rumbling around town in her large SUV, she spends her time not used for her main money-making venture – event planning and catering – meeting with city and police officials to rally support for her organization and planned Victim Resources Center.
She met recently with the sheriffs of Orange and Los Angeles counties to provide more programs for victims of crime. She lists several high-profile people and organizations as donors to her nonprofit, including Henry T. Nicholas III and the Nicole Brown Charitable Foundation
Recalling that horrific night on April 4, 2002, Wenskunas doesn’t flinch.
“People always tell me how sorry they are for what I had to go through. But the experience has allowed me to help others.
“I was there. I understand.
“But this has never been, and never will be, about me personally,” she says.
“This is about victims.”
For more information, visit www.crimesurvivors.com, www.surviveandthriverunwalk.org, or call (949) 872-7895 or email crimesurvivors@aol.com

Contact the writer: 949-454-7356 or ghardesty@ocregister.com

“How to deal and cope during these difficult economical times”

I wish the media would cover a Dear Q & A section on “How to deal and cope during these difficult economical times”

 

Crime is not the answer………… Don’t victimize……………….

 

If you lose your job don’t take your frustrations out on your children or loved ones

 

Don’t let your anger turn you to abuse on your wife, children or friends.

 

Don’t be afraid to ASK FOR HELP……..

Call 211 for referrals for anything you may need

Contact local government and non profits and ask for assistance

Seek a counselor, therapy or a support group

Use your voice and words to express yourself

Listen and take a time out

Contact Crime Survivors, Inc. for referrals and resources at (949) 872-7895 or crimesurvivors@aol.com.

www.crimesurvivors.com

Crime Clock — Statistics

Homicide

One person is murdered every 31 minutes

 

Rape

One person is raped every 2.7 minutes.

Assault

One person is assaulted every 7.2 seconds.

Theft

One home is victimized by theft every 2.3 seconds.

Burglary

One home is burglarized every 9.1 seconds. 

Domestic Violence

One woman is victimized by an intimate partner every 1.3 minutes.
One man is victimized every 6.7 minutes.

Child Abuse and Neglect

One child is reported abused or neglected every 35 seconds.

Drunk Driving

One person is killed in an alcohol related traffic crash every 29 minutes.

Identity Theft

One person becomes a victim of identity theft every 8.7 seconds.

Elder Abuse

One elderly person is victimized every 2.7 minutes.

Hate Crime

One hate crime is reported to the police every 73 minutes.

Rent demanded from family of Covina massacre victim

By Frank C. Girardot, Staff Writer
 
COVINA — When she was killed on Christmas Eve with eight members of her family, Alice Ortiz unwittingly broke the lease she held on an apartment in Upland.
Now the landlord, Broadcrest Foothill Apartment Homes, wants its money, $2,821.23 in all, according to documents obtained Wednesday. A Jan. 29 itemized invoice to Ortiz’s survivors claims she owes $1,655 to the apartment complex on North Central Avenue for “insufficient notice to vacate.” The company also billed Ortiz for 12 days’ rent and other fees accrued in January, weeks after she died.
“This is just low,” said attorney Scott Nord, who represents surviving victims of the massacre and their family members. Candyse Wardlow, who identified herself as the business manager for the property, refused to comment Wednesday. “Unfortunately, I can’t discuss anything,” Wardlow said. “I can’t go into what happened. I can’t make any comment.” Messages left at the company’s corporate office were not returned.
Alice Ortiz shared the apartment with her son, Michael, and her daughters Monique and Cecily, Nord said. Alice and Michael Ortiz were among nine family members killed on Christmas Eve by Bruce Pardo, the disgruntled ex-husband of Alice’s sister, Sylvia, authorities said. Also killed were Alice’s parents, Joseph and Alicia Ortega; her brothers Charles and James Ortega; and their wives, Cheri and Theresa.
Alice’s daughters have since moved in with their father, Carlos Ortiz, who lives in Ontario.
“I’m dealing with my son’s death and the death of my ex-wife, and then they want to put up these kind of roadblocks. I just don’t understand it,” Carlos Ortiz said Wednesday. “They knew we would have to vacate.”
Nord said apartment managers began seeking rent from the family in early January.
“I got a call from the landlord after everything happened, saying Alice didn’t pay her rent,” Nord said. “I asked, ‘Have you seen the news? Her kids just lost their mom.’” The apartment-management company followed up the conversation with a three-day notice to pay rent or leave, Nord said.
“So we had to get them out by Jan. 13, despite the fact that everything else was going on, dealing with the coroner, all these horrible things.” Carlos Ortiz said he would have no problem paying for cleaning and repairs to the apartment, but felt that being told the estate would have to pay for breaking the lease was stunning. “Everything’s been like a whirlwind since Christmas,” he said. “It’s sad. We had to fight them for two weeks just to get the stuff out. We thought that was the end of it.”
Nord said he’s had several conversations with the management company seeking some relief for the family on ethical or moral grounds. “I asked, ‘Do you really want to enforce this?’” Nord recalled. “Their response was, ‘Our lawyers say we can.’” Offers of help for the Ortega family in the wake of the Christmas Eve massacre have come in from around the world, Nord said. We had donations from around the country and even as far away as Switzerland,” he said. “You never expect the kind of generosity we’ve seen.
“Toyota took the cars back and never said, ‘We want our money,’” Nord said. “Other creditors said, ‘Don’t worry about it.’ But what’s going on here, we think it’s just ridiculous.”